4th of July morning, while I drank my morning tea outside in the sunlight, I meditated on safety — actually, on the FEELING of safety.
I am not thinking about being safe. Although looking at feeling safe can lead us to look at safe conditions – being safe from: violence, cold, hunger, lies, mockery, misunderstanding, disease and so on. (Exercise: make a list of what you want to be safe FROM… and another on what you want to be safe TO…) I was looking at the feeling of safety
As I thought about the feeling of safety, I found my thoughts and longings moving to feelings of security and feelings of stability. The three go together, don’t they.
My childhood was unsafe, insecure and unstable and I never learned to feel safe, secure, or stable or even had a sense of what was needed to produce or generate those feelings.
4th of July and declarations of independence and inalienable rights are about seeking safety, security, stability and at 64 I realized I had no real idea, memory, or longing for these feelings. What you don’t know, you don’t want, but once you get an inkling and the inner time is right, questions start flooding in and answers start exploding.
Fireworks were going off inside of me as I celebrated these wonderful, new questions about safety, security and stability. Like starbursts in the basement of my soul, I was lighting the way to what was hidden below the ground of my life by asking myself about S&S&S.
What I felt so good about was recognizing that these three elements begin outside of us in our childhoods, but growing up means safety, security, and stability are not states provided by parents, religions, bank accounts, political parties, doctors, or employers, but feelings of self generated by self. I am safe because I am secure and stable in my sense of self. I am safe, secure and stable because I am I…that statement is the grand, nonstop, finale of the fireworks display when you declare your independence from external conditions and other people for the feelings of safety, security and stability.
When I look at the world we live in and the world of the future I see a lot of threats, uncertainties and chaos, but I don’t need to feel that way inside.
Everyday I am in the pool with my 2 yr old grandson and his parents. We are teaching him to swim – to feel safe, secure and stable when surrounded by water that is over his head. Slowly, he is growing in his understanding of the mysteries of swimming and water – and it is too adorable and he is so thrilled with his sweet, wet successes. As I write about this little fish, I realize in my very crazy, emotionally and physically dangerous, uncertain and chaotic childhood, I always felt safe in the water!
Ask yourself questions about safety, security, stability. How do you define them? Are your definitions independent of cultural or familial dictates, free from the nightmares of your childhood? When your inner ground starts quaking, the tsunami starts crashing on the shores of your soul, where do you find safety? If you stay with the questions, your answers will eventually arrive at your sense of self.
Please leave your comments on safety, security and stability here.
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