I tremble at the realization that as I write these four Inner Easter posts, I am asking each of us to find our solitary way into a consciousness of unbearable feeling — even the joy of resurrection, if truly felt, is too intense for full consciousness. I am not suggesting that we not live into the New Testament recollections of the Mystery of Golgotha which remains filtered by it’s presentation as story, the greatest story, but still perceived as a story about anothers experience. I am asking that we go gently into our own experience and our own true story using the divine template of 2000 years ago.
Why should we do this? As I wrote in the Inner Christmas Messages, we are blessed when we find the impressions of our I-beyond-consciousness living in our souls. If we can go into our own experiences of the Easter Mysteries, we will find the impression of I that knows all the suffering of incarnation, can die the most painful of deaths, forgive, and live again. Just the briefest moments of this inner experience of I, brings more freedom and love to the ordinary moments of our everyday lives. We find courage. That is why for these few days we let ourselves go into the darkest of our souls’ days.
Here we look for the events of Good Friday in our souls. Take heart.
As I wrote the questions below, I realized they ask you to experience yourself as a victim or a perpetrator. A victim has a perpetrator, a perpetrator, a victim.
But the I-beyond-consciousness does not live in stories where there are victims or perpetrators. Certainly, Christ Consciousness is not about victimhood, shame, guilt, hatred or other feelings, attitudes, or judgments that separate, divide, or kill the heart or soul of anyone, especially your own.
As you look at these questions, can you feel the pain without shame, guilt, hatred, any feeling that is not permeated with love.
Do you lie about yourself to yourself, to others?
And when have you silently born false witness on anothers soul? Why? If we don’t offer the dark, selfish parts of ourselves compassion and forgiveness, will we ever be whole – resurrect into a new vital experience of I.
Do you know the prejudiced judge in your own soul that accuses the part of you that longs to speak the truth, love freely, do powerful deeds?
Have you accused, judged, and condemned yourself or others?
Have you ever washed your hands of standing for the innocence of another or the strength of your own goodness?
The Flogging and Mocking
Have you had to suffer the pain of flogging and the humiliation of mockery? What is self-flogging? Is it your constant self-doubt, your food binging, your obsession with knowing everything, your inability to earn enough money? And self-mockery? What do you do when you look in the mirror? Do you mock your body? Do you write from your heart and then rip it to shreds? Do you tell yourself you are unworthy and undeserving?
The Bearing of the Cross
Often the crosses we bear are the weight of our own defenses and identities we created to hide or avoid or survive. What are the crosses that you bear? does anyone ever offer to help you carry them by listening to your stories, caring for your suffering, seeing the truth of your heart?
The Crucifixion and Death
So often our destiny requires that we suffer and die to ourselves. Each year on Good Friday we can ask ourselves have I died to myself so that I can live for others? We don’t need to say yes, but it is very good to ask ourselves the question and be willing to be surprised by the answer.
If you have been reading my messages for a long time and never left a comment, asked a question, or offered appreciation, is it because you diminish the value of your thoughts and feelings?